The Unanswered Questions in Life

Some of Lifes Great Unanswered Questions

Can you cry underwater?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose! idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

What is the speed of darkness?

If you send someone ‘Styrofoam’, how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Can you cry under water?

What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ….. They’re going to see you naked anyway

Flimsy Nighties

Since I started this Blog Site about a year ago, one of the unexpected and unanticipated side-effects I have discovered is the insight the site begins to afford me into individual web browsing habits. I suspect that many users of internet search engines may be unaware that whenever they conduct a web search and click on a web link, the search engine also passes the search terms onto the website. This is to allow site owners to better customise their site for visitors.

One such search engine referral that I receive a many times a day is when the words “Flimsy Nighties” are type into a search engine. I used this expression in the introduction of a humorous article describing the antics of two burly firemen trying to rescue an errant cat on a roof. I assume the many unexpected readers I get to my “Cat on the Roof” article are probably seeking the more esoteric if not outright erotic aspects of the internet, only to find the pussy in my article is the feline variety that makes meowing noises.

I conducted an experiment typing the words “Flimsy Nighties” into a search engine and found out of 1,300.000 results discovered, my article comes very high on the search engine list. Undoubtedly this is why I receive so many views to my article. Have no fear though, it is only the search terms that are passed on, not any form of personal identifying references.

Rather than continue to disappoint anyone seeking views of actual Flimsy Nighties, I have added one below for their viewing pleasure.







A Fimsy Nightie minus occupant

A personal spooky moment

All Saints (The Old Church) ChingfordI can only recall two events in my life where I have experienced what can be described as spooky moments. One was on the day of the 9/11 terrorist acts in New York and which I have already written an article about. The second event occurred while I was watching television one Saturday evening.

In the 1980’s  a television drama series was produced called “London’s Burning”. The series was about the lives of one watch, (crew), on a London fire station. All the cast were actors and the station was given a fictitious name although I recognised the film location as Dockhead Fire Station.

Being a London firefighter myself I watched the first two episodes but unfortunately quickly became bored with the series. I suppose to myself the fire station life portrayed was nothing like I recognised from my own experiences. Having said that, I do recognise the television producers need to make a program to entertain a much wider audience than real firefighters. From the critics and public reviews, the producers would certainly appear to have done that. There was also one beneficial spin-off from the series in terms of recruitment into the fire service. Prior to the series, there was always a steady but small trickle of new applicants which became a flood by the time the series had come to an end. The program proved so popular, at least one additional series was made before the program reached the end of its natural shelf life. Apart from the original two episodes, I saw none of these either.

Probably something like eight to ten years later, one of the series was re-screened. During the intervening time my father had also passed on.

I never was the greatest of television fans outside a good documentary as I pursued other interests, genealogy being amongst them. I did however find myself one Saturday night at a loose end. Frequently we either entertain friends or are in turn equally entertained by them. This particular Saturday night though was one of the few when not much else was going on.

I thought I would settle down in the armchair and watch television for once. Unfortunately I could not find any programs to keep my attention and ended up feeling a little bored. I suppose we all have done a little channel hopping from time to time, using the television remote control to flick from channel to channel but not really finding anything to our particular interest. This is how I was this Saturday evening.

Eventually I came across a repeat episode of London’s Burning and watched it. Had there been any other program of greater interest on at the time I would have watched that instead. I cannot remember the full story line of this particular episode but I do recall towards the end of a make-believe rescue where a person had jumped from the window of a building, burning I think, only to become impaled on spiked railings in front of the house. In the script, this individual subsequently died of injuries and the final scene was at the end of this individuals funeral which had just taken place. The scene was of the watch members standing around the earth mound of a freshly made grave making their various remarks about the individual. As the crew members walked away, the camera panned slowly upwards away from the grave to a distance shot across the cemetery. It was at this point that I froze in total disbelief.

The same spot the make-believe grave was located on was also the exact location of my own fathers grave. Because this particular view across the cemetery is deeply etched into my mind, I could pin-point the location with great accuracy. I do appreciate that at the time the series was made my father was still alive and as I did not watch the series, I was also unaware of this location at the time. It seems to me the television producers had probably piled earth on the grass of  as yet unused ground of the cemetery to make the spot look like a newly filled grave.

I am not a superstitious person or one that believes in ghoulies, ghosties, or things that go bump in the night. What I saw that evening did however send a shiver down my spine. Any time I recall what I saw including writing this article does the same. I do find the co-incidence factor however quite amazing. For a person who rarely watches television and particularly this series to by chance witness such a personal scene would make phenomenal bookmakers odds. Never-the-less, it happened. One thing I do know, I have never watched another episode of this series since.

The Einstein Puzzle

For those who like a real mental challenge, why not try what has become known as the Einstein Puzzle.

There are 5 houses each with a different colour. Their owners, each with a different nationality, drinks a certain type of beverage, smokes a certain brand of cigarette, and keeps a certain type of pet. The house colour, pet, brand of cigarette and beverage are different for each owner.

•The Dane drinks tea.
•The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
•The Brit lives in the red house.
•The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
•Looking from in front, the green house is just to the left of the white house.
•The green house’s owner drinks coffee.
•The person who smokes Pall Malls raises birds.
•The man living in the center house drinks milk.
•The Norwegian lives in the leftmost house.
•The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
•The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
•The man who keeps a horse lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
•The owner who smokes Bluemasters also drinks beer.
•The German smokes Prince.
•The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

Who owns the fish?

A Spooky 9/11 moment

With the anniversary of 9/11 fast approaching I thought I should relate one of the few spooky moments I have experienced in my life.

About 15 years before that fateful day, I met some visiting officers of the New York Fire Department at County Hall in London. During the meeting one of the officers ask for my home address which I duly gave him. About a month later, a postal package arrived at my home from the NYFD which contained a number of Public Relations items, These included shoulder flash badges, stickers etc all with the NYFD logo on them. One of the items was a car key ring with a leather tag which had a fob of the NYFD attached to it. Continue reading

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